The Unknown Agent
by Wolfs-bats-and stories-oh my
Summary: Do you ever wonder why Reid never called any of those women back? This is my take on why. Reid/femaleOC
1. Neon Moon

Chapter 1: Neon Moon

(A/N) Well this is my first CMs fic, and it has a strange origin. I was listening to Neon Moon when a cute little plot bunny hoped into my lap with some paper held in his mouth. I grabbed the paper and TA-DA chapter 1 was born. However that same bunny left and I had to go find him so I could finish this chapter, but have no fear for I have the bunny on a very short leash and I told the bunny that if he doesn't act his best then I will be forced to send him to my friend Battys' plot tigers. So without further ado, enjoy. ~Wolfie~

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Dr. Spencer Reid was sitting at the back of one of Las Vegas' few unknown bars with a half empty bottle sitting on the table next to an already empty one. A full glass rested in his hand. As Spencer went to take a sip from the glass a new song began to play over the speakers. It was a song that he recognized instantly. It was _her_ song. The song that no matter what was happening around her she would stop and sing along with it, and at the time it set the mood for exactly how he was feeling. It was Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn.

_She loved country music. Especially this song,_ he thought sadly.

With that thought he took another sip and thought about what went wrong. He thought about how everything ended. He thought about her sacrifice, her very unnecessary sacrifice that took her from him. He thought about the explosion from the bomb that no one knew about, that they didn't find in time, and he thought about the man that set the bomb and caused her to die.

_I wish we never got that case. I wish we could have found Grayson sooner. Would she still be here? Would I have gotten the chance to tell her that I loved her, that she was more than my best friend and so much more than a sister and a teammate? What would life be like if she were here? What could have changed in five years?_

All of these questions and countless more ran through his mind as he sat and tried to drink away the pain and the bad memories, memories that thanks to an eidetic memory he would never be able to forget.

_That's not true. There is one way to get rid of all the pain and bad memories. One quick, easy, and simple way to make sure that she won't be able to haunt you anymore. Death can offer peace and rest. Why suffer another year? _A small part of Spencer agreed with the voice. Another small part thought that he should have ended it after the Georgia incident, however the biggest part of him reminded him of his friends and what they would do if he died. He knew Morgan and Garcia would find a way to bring him back to life just so they could yell at him and kill him again. J.J and Emily would be devastated. Rossi would probably help Morgan and Garcia, and Hotch was under enough stress already that something like that might push him over the edge. Plus, the crime scene investigators were never able to find her remains. They found Grayson but they never found her DNA anywhere in the building. As long as there was hope that she might be alive, Spencer wouldn't give up. Until someone handed him evidence that she was absolutely dead, then he would keep looking, hoping, wishing, and remembering.

The biggest reason he had for staying alive was his mother. Despite her condition she would notice if he disappeared and stopped sending her a letter every day. It was his mother who would suffer the most, and his dad. He had just started having contact with him after almost ten years and still had a lot to tell and ask him. Spencer knew he had too much to do to be thinking about killing himself.

He went to take another sip from his glass and realized that it was empty. As he reached out to grab the bottle another hand grabbed it and pulled it out of his reach. Spencer looked up to see who the arm belonged to and saw that it was Derek Morgan.

"Don't you think you've had enough kid?" asked Morgan as he looked at his friend with pity.

Spencer sighed and replied "Just getting started actually".

"Reid. Come on man. How long have you been here?" Morgan asked as he took the seat across from Spencer.

Spencer looked around the bar and couldn't find a clock so he shrugged and said "I don't know. I got here at nine. What time is it now?"

"You didn't bring your watch?" Morgan said as he looked down at his own watch "Its ten thirty".

"That makes it an hour and a half and the battery in my watch…" Spencer had to stop and swallow a lump in his throat before he could continue "Is dead".

"Reid it's been five years. I think it's time to let go and move on." Morgan said with obvious worry for his friend.

"Five years, four hours…" Spencer leaned over to look at Morgan's watch "Ten minutes and nine seconds." Spencer leaned back in his chair. "I can't let her go. I can't forget what happened."

"You don't have to and I'm not asking you to. All I'm asking is that instead of remembering the end, try remembering all the good times. Like when you two first met." suggested Morgan.

"Morgan, I don't know if you remember but that wasn't exactly the best first day with a new team member." Spencer replied incredulously.

"For you maybe, but I thought it was funny as hell." replied Morgan with a smirk.

"Well you also didn't get pushed into an alligator infested pond for being a 'smart mouth, stick in the mud, know-it-all'." Spencer replied with a small smile. Unfortunately that smile didn't last long.

"I still wish it didn't happen, or that she hadn't pushed me out. There are days that I wish I had died with her."

"We all wish that it hadn't happened, but Lauren pushed you out of that building because she loved you and wanted to make sure that you would live. She gave her life to protect you. Not so you could sit at the back of a bar drinking and wishing you were dead. What do think she would do or say if she could see this?" Morgan replied heatedly.

Spencer let out a sigh of defeat and replied "She would tell me get over it and take it like a man, and then she would hit me."

"That's not the only reason you're so torn up about this. Is it Reid? There's something else, something that you're not telling anyone. If it were just about Laurens' death you would have been over it by now. What else is bothering you?" Morgan asked.

"They never found her." Spencer replied as he slumped down in his seat with a small sigh.

Morgan let out a sigh of his own as he said "Reid, Lauren couldn't have been more than eight feet from the bomb when it exploded, and crime scene found Grayson's remains sixty feet from it and all that was left was a few bone fragments and ash. As close as she was to the bomb, there wouldn't be anything left to find."

"They would have found traces of her DNA and they didn't. Morgan you saw how many samples they took to analyze. Statistically speaking the chances of them not finding anything is about two percent. There is virtually no way that they could not find DNA if she had died there. What if she's still alive? What if she found a way to get out? For all we know she could be out there somewhere with no idea who she is." argued Spencer.

"You mean amnesia? Reid it's been five years. Wouldn't something have triggered her memories by now?" said Morgan as he tried to talk some sense into his friend.

"Not necessarily. Amnesia affects different people differently. Some people get their memories back within hours and for some it may take years. Sometimes a person that has amnesia never gets their memories back. An amnesic could be put back with their family and have someone tell them everything that happened to them from the day they were born and still not remember anything and then they could see their first grade teacher that they haven't seen in twenty-six years a week later and they remember everything. I'm not trying to get my hopes up or convince myself that Lauren's still alive but if there's the slightest chance that she might be out there somewhere then I have to try to find out what happened to her. I owe her that much." Spencer stated with an air of finality.

"Alright Reid, let's say that Lauren did somehow manage to get out of the building and is still alive. How do we find her?" Morgan asked as he looked down at his watch and saw that it was eleven twenty-five.

"What do mean 'we'?" asked Spencer as he watched Morgan get up from his seat and walk over so that he was standing next to him.

"'We' as in me, you, and the others, now come on so we can find somewhere to crash for tonight. Well head back to Virginia first thing in the morning." and with that said Morgan turned around and headed toward the door.

After paying for the drinks Spencer followed him out of the bar and they took a cab back to the hotel that Spencer was staying at. When they arrived at the hotel Morgan told Spencer to go on and try to get some sleep while he went to the front desk to pay for a room. Spencer agreed and told Morgan that he would meet him in the lobby at seven in the morning. Spencer headed up to his room wondering how he was ever going to be able to get any sleep that night but he didn't have to worry about that because as soon as he got in his room he set the alarm on his phone for six a.m. and not bothering to change clothes he laid down on the bed and as soon as his head hit the pillow he was out.

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(A/N) I know that some of that may have been ooc for Reid and Morgan but it will get better. I hope. I'll post the next chapter when I can.

PS Feel free to leave ideas, questions, concerns, or tell me if you find a problem like with the timeline, grammer, or if someithing doesn't make sense.


	2. Never Had a Dream Come True

**A/N:** Ok, so here is chapter 2. Sorry it took so long and it's so short, but I have been very busy and I haven't had much time. Thank you everyone who read/reviewed the first chapter. Like the first chapter, this one is named after the song that helped me write this chapter. Never Had a Dream Come True is by S Club 7.

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds, characters, trademarks, and anything else that you recognize do not belong to me. If they did I would not be writing this, Reid would get a break, Gideon would be back, and there would be a female K-9 handler with a German shepherd that can find people (dead and alive), drugs, guns, and bombs.

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Ch 2: Never had a Dream Come True

The next morning Spencer was greeted by a slight headache that pounded a little as he sat up. He reached over and grabbed his phone to turn the alarm off and went to take a quick shower. By the time he was ready he felt a lot better but he realized that he was hungry and hadn't eaten since the day before yesterday. He grabbed his go bag and headed down to the lobby to meet up with Morgan and try to talk him into stopping and grabbing a bite to eat before getting on the plane. Instead of taking the elevator Spencer walked past the doors and took the stairs. After he had gotten stuck on one with Morgan a few years ago he tried to avoid taking elevators unless he knew when they had last been checked by maintenance. When he finally got to the lobby he looked around and spotted Morgan sitting in one of the chairs in the hotels lounge area. Spencer walked over to him and saw that Morgan was flipping through one of the magazines that were on the table in front of him.

"What took you so long?" Morgan asked without looking up.

"I took the stairs."Spencer replied.

"Reid, don't tell me that you're still freaked about that. It was a onetime thing." Morgan replied as he looked up.

"We were trapped in an elevator that fell while we were on it. Yes I'm still freaked out about it. How can you not be?" replied Spencer as he set his bag on the floor.

"It only fell a few inches, besides what are the chances of it happening again? That was a rhetorical question." Morgan said quickly as he saw Spencer's mouth open in what he knew would be a long and boring answer.

"It actually fell about a foot." Spencer replied.

"Whatever kid, let's just go find some breakfast so we can get out of here." said Morgan as he stood up and grabbed his own bag.

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Two and a half hours later Spencer and Morgan were on their way home. Spencer tried to keep his mind from wandering to the possible effects that finding Lauren alive would have on everyone, but unfortunately he couldn't stop the thoughts that were now running through his mind.

_What if she's alive but doesn't want to know who she is? What if she has a new life that she doesn't want to leave? Could I ask her to come back to the life of a profiler when I know she has a chance to forget the horrors that she's seen and have a normal life full of happiness? I can't do that. I can't force her to come back to this life. I could ask her. I could ask her if she wants to remember and if she wants to come back. I can give her a choice to either keep her new life or come back to her old one. I can do this. This is going to be easy. I can do this. Who am I kidding, no I can't. I can't do this. I just can't do this._

As these thoughts raced through Spencer's mind he began to panic. Morgan quickly picked up on the waves of panic that were coming off of his friend and placed a comforting hand on Spencer's shoulder.

"What's wrong Reid?" Morgan asked as Spencer jumped when he felt pressure on his shoulder.

"What if we find her and she doesn't want to know who she is? What if she's happy with the life she has now? I don't know if looking for her is such a good idea." replied Spencer with the panic and self doubt that he was feeling apparent in his voice.

Morgan sighed and replied "Do you remember how Lauren would get when she couldn't remember something that she knew she was supposed to know? Do you remember how she would pace and talk to herself, how it would bother her to the point that someone would have to distract her? If that was what she was like when she forgot one thing then how do you think she feels not being able to remember her whole life? Looking for her is the right thing to do. Don't doubt yourself. Remember what Gideon used to tell us?"

"'Doubt leads to mistakes. Always trust your instincts.' I know, but…" Spencer suddenly found himself at a loss for words.

"There's no but about it. You know it's the right thing to do, just like you know she's still alive. If you're guts trying to tell you something then you better listen to it." Morgan said as he tried to calm and reassure his friend.

"What if it's not? What if this is all just wishful thinking?" asked Spencer.

"Like you said yesterday, Lauren's DNA was never found. There's a chance that she's out there, and if we find her alive then we bring her home. If we find out that she is dead, then we'll at least have closure. Just know that whatever we find we're all in this together." Morgan replied.

"Thanks Morgan."

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Back at Quantico the rest of the team were bored out of their minds, Garcia and Printess had resorted to playing hang man, Hotch was catching up on paperwork and Rossi was preparing for his next seminar. When J.J entered the bullpen both Printess and Garcia's heads snapped up.

"This is going to sound really bad, but please tell me you're here to give us a case?" begged Printess.

"I normally try not to hope for new cases, but at this point I would gladly take anything. Even if it's just a missing pet, or maybe I can make you a list of all the calls that police and fire departments all over the country get on cats stuck in trees. Anything!" stated Garcia.

J.J just laughed and replied "Is it really that bad?"

"Yes! I am not use to doing nothing for longer than forty-eight hours, and it has been four days. If I don't find something constructive to do soon I am going to crazy." replied Garcia.

"Well if it makes you feel better Morgan and Reid should be back in about an hour and then you can all be bored together." replied J.J with a chuckle.

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**A/N: **I will try to get chapter three up soon. It should be soon as I have it all planed out.

Thanks again for reading, and feel free to tell me if something doesn't make sense or

if something is wrong.


	3. All Around Me

**A/N:** Hello beloved readers! I know some of you will be confused when you start reading this, but maybe by the time you finish this chapter everything will be 'clear as mud' as some like to say. This chapter was written with the help of All Around Me by Flyleaf. Also I would like to take this time to inform you all about a Poll on my profile that I would like you to take a second to look at and vote on. **I do not own Criminal Minds **(though I would if I could, but I can't so I won't)  
**Enjoy.**

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**Ch 3: All Around Me**

_*Dream*_

_A girl that looked to be about 24 years old was walking through a building with two others when she heard a voice that was so familiar but she couldn't place it._

"_Morgan, have you three found anything yet?" asked the voice coming from the ear piece that was in the girl's ear._

"_Negative Hotch. There's nothing in here." replied the man that was walking in front of her._

'_Ok, so that must be Morgan, which means the guy in the ear piece is called Hotch, so who's the guy behind me and more importantly, who am I?' thought the girl sadly._

_Just then a huge spider the size of a Chihuahua crawled across the girl's foot just as she looked down. _

"_Oh my God!" she yelled as she kicked the little monster off of her foot and jumped back which caused her to back into the guy behind her who put an arm around her to keep her steady._

_Morgan looked back at them and all she could do was point at where it had landed and say "Please get rid of it!"_

_Morgan looked in the direction she was pointing and started to laugh. About that time Hotch asked "Is everything ok? I thought I heard Lauren scream."_

"_We're ok Hotch, but apparently someone is scared of little spiders." Morgan replied while still laughing._

"_Little! That thing is the size of a Chihuahua!" the girl said, and she became aware of two things at once. The first thing was that they had called her Lauren. _

'_Does that mean that Lauren is my name?' the girl wondered._

_The second thing she noticed was that the guy behind her was still holding her and he was also laughing his head off. She stepped away from him and turned around so she could finally get a good look at him. Just like with Hotch's voice and Morgan, this guy was also familiar. He was a good head taller than her with light, almost honey brown hair and the most beautiful dark brown eyes she had ever seen. The girl was almost sad that she had stepped away from him, but it was quickly replaced with a small amount of anger. She took a step closer to him as he stopped laughing and looked up at him with a small smile. At the sight of her looking at him like that the guy took a step back in fear._

'_Good, he's been trained' the girl thought to herself with a small smirk. _

"_Are you through?" she asked as she took another small step closer._

"_I'm sorry Lauren, please don't hit me!" the guy begged._

_The girl brought her fist up and the guy in front of her flinched. She punched him twice in the arm._

"_Two for flinching, smart-ass." she quickly explained._

"_Why do you always hit me? Why not hit Morgan, he was laughing too?" the guy asked._

"_Oh don't worry Morgan's next, and I always hit you because you do and say stupid things and you need to toughen up." the girl replied as she walked over to Morgan and punched him in the shoulder._

"_Feel better now?" the girl asked._

"_Why did you only hit him once?" the guy asked._

"_Because he didn't flinch" she replied._

'_I really should learn his name I can't just call him 'that tall, skinny guy with the cute eyes' all the time' the girl thought to herself as she looked at him._

_Just then everything started getting fuzzy and the girl could hear a woman calling out to someone. The girl closed her eyes and wished the voice would go away. Unfortunately it didn't._

_*End Dream*_

When the girl opened her eyes she looked up at an older woman who was standing over her.

"Did you have to wake me up?" she asked in slight annoyance.

"I'm sorry Sarah, but it's time to open the shop. You were talking in your sleep again." the older woman told her.

"Did I say anything important?" Sarah asked with hope.

"I'm afraid not. All I could understand was something about a spider the size of a Chihuahua." replied the woman with a soft chuckle.

"I think that was a memory, but now I can't remember it. Well there is one thing. There was a guy there, and he had the most beautiful brown eyes. I remember hitting him for laughing at me and I remember feeling safe with him, but I don't have a name to go with him." Sarah told the older woman in sadness.

"Don't worry Sarah. I'm sure that you'll remember in time." The woman said as she tried to comfort the young woman.

"But I want to remember now. Clare, what if I never remember? It's been five years and I haven't gotten any of my memories back." said Sarah as she began to panic slightly.

"Sarah, you know can always stay with me if you don't get your memories back, and even if you do your still welcome here." Clare replied with a soft smile.

"Thank you Clare. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't of found me and taken me in. I owe you a lot." Sarah said as she got up from the bed and went over to her closet to get her work clothes.

Clare walked over to the door and opened it. Before she left she looked back and said "I only did what any decent person would in that situation. Like I've said before, you don't owe me anything and even if you did it has been repaid a thousand times. Now hurry and get ready. We have a long day today and everything needs to be fed, watered, and the cages need to be cleaned. Don't forget that Dr. Sung is coming by at three-thirty to check the new animals."

Sarah smiled at the way Clare had just gone from concerned friend to mother hen boss so quickly and replied "Sure thing boss."

Clare picked up a small pillow that was next to the door and threw it at Sarah, but before the girl could pick it up and throw it back she had left and closed the door behind her.

Sarah tossed the pillow onto her bed and went in to the bathroom. She took a quick shower and pulled on a pair of jeans and her work shirt. She walked back to her room and put on just a little eyeliner and foundation. She took another look at herself and added a bit more eyeliner to make her sea green eyes stand out. She then put her still wet shoulder length blond hair into a ponytail.

Once she was ready she went down stairs to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of orange juice and the bacon and egg sandwich that Clare had left for her. She went out the door and went to close and lock the door, but first she checked to make sure she had her keys. Still holding her sandwich, she put her bottle on the ground and searched her pockets for the keys. When she was sure that they were in her pocket she shut and locked the door, picked up her bottle and checked to make sure the door was secure one last time before she went to the street and looked both ways before crossing over to the pet store that Clare owned and operated.

When she entered the door she heard a raspy voice call out "You're late."

Sarah looked over at where the sound came from and saw the pet store's mascot.

"Good morning to you too Walden." Sarah said as she walked over to the front desk where an African Grey Parrot was perched.

"Is it mine?" Waldon asked as he looked at the sandwich in her hand.

"No Waldon, your breakfast is in your food dish. Ok? Go to your food dish." Sarah told the bird.

Waldon climbed down the small ladder that was leaning against the desk and got on the floor. Sarah couldn't help but laugh at the bird as he waddled over to the stand where his perch was and climbed up to his food dish. Sarah broke off a small bit of bread and egg and put it in the dish. Then she took his water dish outside and dumped the water that was left from the day before and opened her bottle of orange juice and poured a small amount in the water dish. She went to the back room and added some water so it wouldn't be so acidic and went and put it back on the stand. Waldon had eaten the food she gave him and began to drink the watered down orange juice. When he was done Sarah took both of the dishes to the back room and washed them out and refilled them. When she brought them back, Waldon nipped her finger in a sign of affection. Sarah scratched under his chin and turned to walk away.

Waldon let out a cry and said "Thank you sweetheart."

Sarah turned back around to face the bird which was now looking at her with his head tilted to the left as though he knew she was supposed to respond.

Sarah did the first thing that came to her mind. She said "You're welcome sweetness."

After that Waldon went about his normal business, and Sarah went to find Claire. She found her outside with one of the store's older Yorkie pups' that was going to his new home later that day.

"Clare? Who taught Waldon to say 'thank you sweetheart'?" Sarah asked.

"I didn't know he could say that." replied Clare as she picked up the little Yorkie.

"I didn't either until he said it to me." Sarah said.

She told Clare everything that happened and then waited for her opinion.

"Maybe he heard it from a customer." suggested Clare.

"Maybe. Well I should go get started on the cages. They're not going to clean themselves." With that said Sarah got up and went back inside.

'_I know I've heard someone say that to me before but I just can't remember. Was it a boyfriend, or maybe a husband? Don't be stupid, I'm sure I wasn't married. If I were I would have been found by now. Who could have said that to me?'_

Suddenly an image of a dark skinned man came to her mind.

'_Is that who said it to me? Why? Who is he? Wait a minute. Isn't he one of the guys from my dreams? I think he is. He has to be! What was his name? I heard his name last night. I know I did, but what was it? Come on girl think. What did it start with? It was an 'M'. Was it Matt, Mark, Marten? No. It was Morgan I think. Yes! His name is Morgan! Unfortunately I don't know any guys called Morgan. Maybe I can find this Morgan person and ask him who I am. Maybe he has the keys to unlock my memories! Maybe clues to my past have been all around me this whole time._

Sarah was able to finish the rest of the day without any more strange things happening. Later that night she was once again haunted by dreams of her past.

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I hope everyone didn't think that I would let Lauren die. I couldn't let Dr. Reid go through all that pain.  
That character already has enough problems. In fact as I type this Revelations is coming on. Can you say 'ubber creepy'?

Anywho, Thanks for reading/reviewing. Feel free to inform me of any mistakes I may have missed and I am open to tips, hints, and suggestions on ways to make this story better.  
P.S Don't forget to Vote. BTW The Poll is to see if anyone would read a Criminal Minds/X-Files crossover.  
**~Wolfie~**


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